9.25.2010

Korean men don’t like black women = BULLSH*T

Maybe not as hot a topic as my last post here, but still relevant.

"Korean men don’t like black women. You are not skinny enough for their taste. Prepare for a lonely year...." Blah, blah, yada yada yada and so on…

I have heard this repeatedly.

I have lived in South Korea for about 4 months now and from what I have experienced firsthand and from a story of a friend of my mother’s told me.

Korean men don’t like black women = BULLSHI*T

Also, the people who say that are full of it.

First off, about me:

1. I am a black female.
2. I am a bigger black woman (not that big just I could lose the extra but I have curves (not skinny at all) that won’t be going away (hips and chest).
3. I don’t wear makeup (too lazy and I don’t know how) so when a person sees me you see what I actually look like. I don’t cake it on like I see some other females (all races) do.

Experiences (my own)

1. I was on the subway yesterday. I missed the previous train but my friend I was with made it, so I told him to meet me at the next stop. I caught the next train not even a minute later which was pretty much empty. This nice looking Korean guy was walking through the train. I just happened to look up and smile and he smiled back (big grin that Oh Hell Yeah Who are you? one). And he sat down next to me. Not too close, just one cushion away from me and he was turning toward me, but the vibe got disrupted when my friend came on the train and sat down. My friend is a Canadian guy, Ben, here and most people think we are a couple. It confuses us because the way we talk to each other it is so obvious we are not. He is my adventure buddy of exploring Korea and finding good food. I could tell the Korean guy thought that because he could barely look at me afterward. I saw him sneak peeks though and he helped us on where we were going. My friend and I have a deal on when a hotness of the opposite sex shows interest, and then the other should go away. Unless in my case it is some weird guy giving me that freaky stalker stare (Koreans don’t so this, the ones I encountered anyway), my friend stays put. Should have taken a picture, he was a cutie.

2. The older guy on the train who said if he was 21 years younger he would try to love me.

3. Day before, when a Korean shop owner was helping me and another black woman out at his store. He must have checked me out thoroughly because he picked pants that fit me well, but I can’t wear them to work and I have a butt. I was telling him this and as I was he said I had a nice body.

4. Same store owner, while I was changing, asked my new friend if she dates Korean men, she said she only been here for maybe a month or two. He said she should come back to his shop and he would hook her up. He actually used those words.

5. I as on the subway and this other Korean guy passed me buy and obviously checked me out and smiled at me as he walked pass.

6. Subway again, Korean dude checking out my curves while on the train very obvious about it. Did not look apologetic whatsoever when I caught him staring and following his eye movements. He looked at me, acknowledged me and kept right on. With his mouth hanging open btw.

7. Been complemented on my looks randomly, more times than I can remember ever getting in the states by MEN and WOMEN.

8. This is a story from my Mom’s friend. It is on my Facebook page.

proof

What say the rest of you? Do you agree with the title?

Found this on FB too

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7272639007

This is just for fun and it was funny. She might be part of a Blasian relationship, I am not sure.

46 comments:

  1. This was a GREAT reality check, especially for women like me, who's had nothing but negative input from women and men (Asian men as well.) With so many people attempting to prove us wrong about our appeal to Korean men, it's very easy to get discouraged&give up. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences! :)

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  2. So...you going out on dates, DN?

    I don’t wear makeup

    Lawd, do I hear that. Waxed eyebrows and some lip gloss are all I need. If you take care of the skin, you won't need all that extra shit.

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  3. @ Moonwalker723
    Glad I could help! Plus, it is not just Korean men. It is other POC's from Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Nigera and so on. But they give me creepy stalker stare first then I am like oh hell no. That stare is a TOTAL turn off!

    @ Ankh
    No, I haven't been on any dates. I may have been close to one the other day but the dude thought my friend was my boyfriend.

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  4. @ DN

    *shakes head* Traveling with platonic friends can be detrimental.

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  5. "If you take care of the skin, you won't need all that extra shit."
    lol, i've got good skin, and i wear make up all the time. *^_^*

    ... that 'yoga for black people' vid had me rollin'!

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  6. @ Avastacia

    Are we talking eyeshadow or full on cake?

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  7. I loved reading this! I usually get positive feedback from all sorts of people in regards to my looks but sadly stuff hardly follow through.

    And I have to say, I'm a black woman who loves her make-up. I'm not obsessed though, like I can go out with no make-up on but I do enjoy making up.

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  8. I'm glad to hear this. It really should be no surprise that men would ind black women attractive but the powers tht be would like to have us all believe otherwise. Possible date with man soon DN?

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  9. Yeah, DN. Don't settle for lack of follow-through. Hand out them digits and scribble down what happens next.

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  10. @ankhesen mie

    yes i wear eye shadow, lipstick, blush, etc. its not "cake" (O_o) if you know what you're doing. is there something wrong w/ that...?

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  11. @ Avastacia

    There's nothing wrong with that. Why do you ask?

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  12. I assume by cake you meant really heavy foundation.

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  13. That and in show biz, some actors refer to getting make up as "putting on pancake."

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  14. @Ankhesen Mie not just in showbiz, Nigerians call powder foundation "pancake" too, lolz

    also, major lulz at that video. it's so wrong, yet so funny

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  15. Mellowyel, I didn't know that. I wonder why people call it that.

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  16. @Ankh,

    I believe the term 'pancake' came from back in the day when there was a serious lack of brown powder to blend with our skin, Nigerian women used white powder. They'd usually put a lot of it on their faces so that their face became a totally different colour from their necks and ears. Of course this looked ridiculous and it still happens today when women don't choose the right shade. I don't know why the people chose to call it 'pancake' though I suspect that the term comes from the media.

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  17. @DN
    I fail to understand the concept of a platonic male friend. Do they actually serve a purpose other than protection from stalkers? Just kidding. ;) When the guy was helping you get where you were going, why didn't you point out that Mr. QuestionablePurpose was not your man? :D

    @Moonwalker723
    I don't know what kinds of experiences you've had, but know this for a fact. Straight men generally like straight women, regardless of race, color or national origin. Korean-Americans number less than 1.5 million people. It seems logical that they'd feel more pressure to preserve their culture and traditions (roots) than a man from Korea, population 50 million. We're talking about two different categories of Korean men. Which category are you seeking?

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  18. *sighs dreamily* I bet Korea is absolutely beautiful. I want to move there after college so badly but I don't speak the language and I fear my training as a psychologist may end up going unused.

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  19. @ Chaotic Darkness

    I don't speak the language either. I am just learning it. I am teaching English here. You never know, they ask for teachers in everything pretty much here.

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  20. @Chaotic Darkness

    Exactly what is your specialty and why do you believe you training as a psychologist will be wasted? Do you see patients/clients?

    Inquiring minds are nosy! :D

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  21. edit for the previous post because I have one or two language skills: your training

    Chaotic Darkness, are you a clinical psychologist? If you are, then you're needed in Asia. There are many mentally ill English speakers here who cannot find therapists, including those stationed on our military bases.

    Curiously, once "white" people realize they don't actually have the privilege they thought they had, here in Japan, they generally develop mental disorders. I'm not joking. It's tough for them to wake up one day and realize they are essentially irrelevant display items or worse, puppets used to further someone else's agenda.

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    Replies
    1. So true, I had a friend (white dude) who taught English in Japan for 2 years. He would be categorized as being a person of integrity ie actually aware of and refused his white privilege. He told me stories of how some Japanese (girls and guys, mainly girls though) would use their relationships with white people to elevate their social status. He would tell me horror stories of the university he worked at where Caucasian teachers married to Japanese woman would get to the point in the marriages where they didn't even want to go home at night. These teachers would sign-up to teach night class, take night classes themselves or just stay in their offices all night "working". He had a knack for picking out fake people. Anyway, he incidentally met a black woman in Japan and they've been married for 4 years now with a cute daughter.

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  22. I find this to be really true. I have a pretty low self-esteem (working on it) & I thought that I'd never attract an Asian man (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese...) because of the standard of beauty they have there (very pale skin, skinny girls). I've been proven wrong many times. One time while I was in China, this man who seemed to be around 40/50 came to me and told me that he really liked my shape, that I looked happy and healthy. I was a little creeped out but I took it as a compliment nonetheless, from someone who's lived in China all his life.

    Thank you for this story! And the video was hilarious.
    I hope there will be more stories like this one in the future on the Blasian narrative so that we stop feeling insecure about this "issue".

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  23. RE: Chaotic Darkness

    Here is a blog by a black woman and recent college graduate working in Korea:
    http://www.cocoinkorea.com/2010/09/epik-spring-2011-recruiting.html

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  24. Have you guys read a the blog "the Seoul of black folks"? I sent the author an invite.

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  25. @modest-goddess

    That was a cool blog. Thank you. Years ago, I used to upload pictures and content. I burned out although I still take zillions of pictures of everything. Maybe I'll resume one day.

    @Sica

    It appears as though I was raised in a bubble because it never once occurred to me that men, in general, wouldn't find me attractive. Asian guys were certainly no exception. My first, a Vietnamese, and I zeroed in on each other the instant we met. So did his roommate and I, but that's a skanky story for another day.

    When I was in Taiwan and GuangZhou, I never lacked for male attention. If anything, there were too many options. One of the things I always found intriguing was the reference to my "childbearing hips." This seemed to be the number one priority of older women and men seeking potential mates for their sons. Apparently, it did not matter that the child could potentially be darker.

    In any case, until I searched for other blasian relationships a couple of years ago, I never knew black women had issues with getting Asian men. For the record, I picked up all of the guys in and around a university.

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  26. @Ankh,

    I read the "Seoul of Black Folks". Has she replied to your invitation. I remember during her first stay in Korea she had quite a few Korean men around her :D

    @modest-goddess

    Thanks for the link to that blog!

    @Hateya

    One day you're going to have to write about all your experiences in Taiwan and China. My cousin started working at the Korean Cultural Centre here last month and she's got loads of stories about how her Korean male coworker asked her to marry him and several other visiting Korean men compliment her on her beauty and all that.

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  27. @EccentricYoruba

    My experiences in Taiwan and China were ultimately naughty ones and probably shouldn't be discussed in a public forum. ;) I truly did receive quite a few sincere pre-marriage proposals (I did not have a go-between).

    Ultimately, it's not about race or ethnicity, it's about individual personal preferences. Your friend's co-worker was most likely sincere in his marriage proposal and in Asia it's not unheard of for a man to propose to a woman he only knows as a colleague. Dating isn't essential in every society. There are many other factors.

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  28. My experiences in Taiwan and China were ultimately naughty ones and probably shouldn't be discussed in a public forum.

    Seriously? Why not?

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  29. @Ankhesen
    Seriously? Why not?

    Because I noticed I was the only one suggesting personal Tales from the Trampy Side and that's bad. Right?

    I don't feel too well and I need to see a doctor (tomorrow). After I perk up a bit, I'm sure more of my smutty tendencies will come to light. Until then, I look forward to hearing more tales about THE PROFESSOR.

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  30. Because I noticed I was the only one suggesting personal Tales from the Trampy Side and that's bad. Right?

    Wrong. Spill.

    Until then, I look forward to hearing more tales about THE PROFESSOR.

    *blushes*

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  31. @Ankhesen

    More on THE PROFESSOR!!!

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  32. Had to miss class on account of having to work. Had to take custody of a child.

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  33. @Hateya: Sorry I'm just saying this now, but I'm with the Korean men from Korean category. I've found out that yes, men like women, but it almost seems like the skin color is an underlying, subconscious preference that guys have. But I won't get into that...I'm probably not making sense right now.

    @DN: I get those stares from creepy OLD White men and Black men, but I haven't gotten that from any other type of guy (yet!) It gives me goosebumps every time though. yuck.

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  34. Preference is the racist mot du jour.

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  35. @Moonwalker723

    Though I'm not naive, I'd like to think that there is someone out there for everyone and maybe the guy for you isn't Korean. I'm female. I expect MEN, in general, to want my wares and this has always been my experience. If a majority of men have an underlying skin color preference, then it looks as though I've only had encounters with the minority that don't or perhaps they were as flexible as I was/am. Ultimately, I ended up with the guy the gods created for me (vice versa) and that he's Japanese is neither here nor there in my book.

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  36. This goes for all Asian men. I work at a Japanese company and one of my good guy friends (who's from India) told me that one of our mutual Japanese friends (who was visiting from the overseas office) told him that he would love for me to be his wife. Not to mention I have been complimented about my looks and body by Japanese men so many times I couldn't count. Not to mention my Indian friend has admitted that he has a preference for black women. Asian guys are NOT shy once you get to know them...NOT AT ALL!

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  37. Hi Ank,

    This is Joia, from the Seoul of Black Folks blog. I'm so sorry I didn't reply to your invite before - totally slipped my mind. Anyway, I think this is a great contribution to a necessary dialogue. It's been a long time since I've dated an Asian man, however, if you think I would have an interesting POV, please feel free to re-invite me and I'll see what I can do! :) Best wishes and happy dating!!

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  38. Hey, Joia! Thanks for stopping by!

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  39. @ Anonymous

    Repost with a name, please.

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  40. What you all are posting here does not seem like people who are interesting in real relationships or long term commitment. It seems that you are discussing and posting situations where the men are interesting in you sexually. Men want sex from women regardless of race. However, when it comes to taking you home to the family and introducing you as his future wife, I haven't seen any of those stories posted here. Unfortunately, black women are seen as loose, cheap, exotic, etc. because of the lame videos and stories coming out of the US. I'm here in Atlanta where several black women have babies by Korean guys who won't marry them. I'm not saying their situations will happen to you. I'm just saying that looking at/lusting for your body and actually wanting a serious relationship that could lead to marriage are two different things. From reading Korean male blogs, it seems it's more about them being curious about having sex with non-Korean women more than wanting you for a girlfriend or wife. When it come down to choosing a wife who can fit into the family, almost all choose a woman who can cook Korean, speak Korean, was raised with Korean values and who can produce Korean children. Most choose Korean women.

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    Replies
    1. This isn't what the BN blog is about. It's about education and entertainment. As an admirer of BN, I didn't come on this blog to seek guys and there are many other vloggers/bloggers/posters who also have the same intentions. I also have to disagree with you about the BN staff.Even if this was a dating site..that was the case the LAST thing they want to do is to hook with some guy who just want you for sex. If anything they want POC to love who they are.

      Ok, those Korean guys that you discuss on here are a drop in a bucket compared to the millions of them that live all over the world. For the several guys you said that won't marry their babies mother's, there are several of them who have and/or who will( some of them are on this site. I also hope that the women you mention on here didn't have the kids in hopes of keeping their men..big mistake!). There are millions of Korean men out there and not all of them are like the guys you discussed on here.In order for you to know the personalities, you will have to date/marry all of them. I've been hit on/asked out on dates by men of all races, Asian included.When it comes to admiration/lust, you can find that from all races of men. It doesn't women will jump with in the sack because of that.

      Yes, the Korean guys you mentioned on here may not be worth 2 cents,but they do not represent all Korean or men in general. Also, when it comes to this, we should'nt think of these several Korean guys are being different from other races of men. When it comes to seeing the best/worst in people, it shouldn't be about Korean vs African American, it should be about individuals.

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  41. KIKO: strongly disagree its not full of shit your experiences clearly proves they are only interested in you physically. koreans believe dark skin is inferior only 10% are not as ignorant. they also believe white skin is pure and dark skin is sexy. therefore he would bang you but you wont be who he brings home to momma. its a sad and nasty truth. downloaded into them from older koreans. i fine asian men to be very appealing and have dated mostly japanese and chinese because korean people rarely date outside their race.

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  42. That video was offensive. I don't care how attracted you are to Asian men, something doesn't suddenly become less offensive just because you have a strong attraction to the race that's being offensive. She would hate it if I pulled my eyes back and went ching-chang-chong wouldn't she? And how in the world you would assume that she's in a black relationship from that video is beside me.

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  43. Anonymous,

    Leave a name, please.

    Also, understand the OP may not be able to respond to your comment soon, as she is no longer writing for the Narrative.

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  44. Greetings,
    So glad I found your blog. My question is this: They are checking you out and even flirting and admiring you. But, are they just interested in a black women much like some white man are interested in us....experiment? Curiosity from watching too many BET movies, videos?

    Do you get the sense that there are Korean men who will seriously date and marry a black woman. I have heard much about how racist this population is as a whole... It has caused me to become discouraged.
    But, I will read your other postings. Thanks for sharing

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