12.17.2010

BW/KM Update

**UPDATE 2**

Please read comments before jumping to conclusions.

Talked to the teacher today, I was telling her my coat will be ready this week and I was happy because it is so cold here. She told me: "If he does it again, punch him." She understood why I mistaked it for a Korean culture thing as I stated to a response in the comments section.

About me:

I am not the type to need a man for anything. If I can't get it myself, I don't need it and it can wait till later. I am not so grateful that a man that is not my race, my race or any other race is paying attention to me. I got other stuff to do and I am enjoying my time in a beautiful country. I am jsut surprised at the attention I am getting, not because I am a black woman, but because I am no where near dressed like most of the women here and I get attention. I wear my jeans and t-shirt (when it is warm enough) and I am covered in two jackets maybe one with two shirts and the thermal shirt and pants underneath with my sneakers or boots (which make my feet ook huge but those bad boys are warm and I could care less). The other women are wearing heels and short skirts and tights with jewelry, make up and all that. Pretty much dressed to the nines, while I am going natural and warm and I am not rail thin. I have curves and they aren't going anywhere.

Crystal when are you getting here? We have so much eye candy to look upon. I need to buy a camera to show you what you are missing.

**END UPDATE 2**

**UPDATE**

Turns out it is not a Korean thing. He thought I was sexy.

I asked one of the teachers I work with and she was like "No, he shouldn't have done that. THat is sexual abuse. Next time tell him: Are you crazy?! (She made the motion to threaten to punch someone). She went on to explain with women it is Okay because it is like a joke, but with opposite sex no.

**END UPDATE**

Short and sweet because I need to get up in about 5 hours.

Went to get coat made today.

Tailor said "Oh, Big size!" Then smiled.

At first I thought he was saying I was fat (I have lost almost 30lbs since I got here) then realized where he was looking (chest).

He measured me for my coat.

He measured my hips. "Oh, big bum" slapped my ass and called me "Very Sexy."

My coat will be ready in a week and I got a discount.

This is how my weekend started... I will post more if anything else happens.

23 comments:

  1. "He measured my hips. "Oh, big bum" slapped my ass and called me "Very Sexy.""

    You know...this would have gotten some other men punched in the face. Just saying. XD

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  2. WOW...that was QUITE bold of him. I'm hoping he wasn't an old man...
    And I agree with leoprincess...he would've gotten smacked hella hard.

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  3. ...

    ...

    ...

    .....I don't know what to say....

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  4. oh wow, yeah I don't like being slapped in the ass by people I'm dating so a stranger doing it would freak me out

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  5. .....So I'm guessing this guy had to resemble Sexy himself in order to get away with that...

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  6. Wans't a hard slap. It was like a tap. Like the one the Nurse gives before a shot but lighter. I think it is a Korean thing, because one of the people at work ( assistant VP I think) did that to me once. She is a lady btw. I will have to ask my Korean friend about that.

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  7. Ohhh! Keep me updated! Ladies, I don't think it was as bad as it seems. I'm sure DN would have corrected it if there was a problem. Slapped probably was too strong of a word ROFL!

    And whoever mentioned Mr. Sexy and slapping is a mean, mean person. How dare you give me such images to play over in my mind lol!!

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  8. Lmao that just made my day. If that didn't sound like the gay moment in rush hour (when Jackie and Chris walked in to get new suits and the guy wanted to get then couple outfits xD) ,at this it was cute an quite the gesture of comfort in your presence ^__^

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  9. @DN, oh okay. The word tap changes a lot in how I view that moment in my mind, lol.

    @Crystal I'm sorry. At least it's a fun image in your mind right? Lol.

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  10. Sad, but it proves my point. A Korean man show you a glimmer of attention ad You're so Flattered that you don't see that it is in fact inappropriate. C'mon Ankh can at least understand where I'm coming from a little, or am I being over critical of the post again? which means that this comment will soon be deleted :(

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  11. I am a BW dating an AM, and have been for some time now. There have been some assumptions surrounding my relationship, but it comes with the territory. The ONE THAT URKKKKSS ME is that People assume that a beautiful Black Woman such as myself should be FLATTERED that he even decided to give me the time of day!? It's like do you think so less of me as a black woman or of black women as a whole; (Like it's incomprehensible for a Non Black or Asian Male to want to even want to be seen with me)that I would actually be flattered by any male attention and think more highly of myself bc the guy wasn't within my race. As if my self esteem is that low...

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  12. @MIN

    You are worng. I am not that type of girl. I didn't take any offense because a Korean women about the same age did the same thing and I figured it was some Korean thing I didn't know about. And probably because I took it in good humor. I will say the rest later gotta go teach.

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  13. @MIN

    I understand where you're coming from on this particular issue. As a FREE and INDEPENDENT Black woman, I do not allow myself to be cast as the poor unfortunate little Black girl who lucked out with some Asian guy. Nor do I allow any man, regardless of ethnicity, to think he has any right to come up and arbitrarily touch or "compliment" me inappropriately. I can't even count the number of times Asian men of various ages have had the nerve to comment on my breasts or ass... actions they soon came to regret. I've even had old ladies try to feel me up and such encounters have always ended badly. People try to excuse it because old women do such things to babies or to puppies. WTF?! I'm neither a baby nor a puppy. I'm a grown ass woman. As such, when someone approaches me, they'd better do so with MY culture and MY thing in mind, not the other way around. This is how I approach them.

    Heterosexual men though should be smacked around the same way a Black man or any other man on the street would be if he had done such a thing.

    @DN

    My comments were not meant to pass judgment upon you as only YOU know what went on between you and that guy. Clearly, you didn't mind, so it's all good.

    SHIKASHI... But...

    This issue goes far deeper than your experience and it's rooted in something I despise and hate, but can't do anything about. I'm always always always conscious that as a Black woman in this world, I'm not just representing myself, but all of us because it appears as though the rest of the planet thinks that Black people are monolithic. Because you allowed that tailor to playfully touch you, he might very well think it's permissible to do so to another Black woman. She, in turn, might think of it as sexual assault. As Black woman, I'm sorry to say, we must be careful how we present ourselves especially when we live abroad. My freedom and independence hasn't been compromised because protecting my sisters to the best of my ability is part of that equation. Unfair? Hell yes! Do I sometimes show my ass anyway? Hell yes to that, too, though with much regret later.

    On a lighter note, once people get to know me and see me as an INDIVIDUAL, I show them my silly, forgetful, completely disorganized side because this is WHO I AM.

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  14. @ Hateya

    I understand what you are saying. I amended in a comment that it was a tap on the side (like before a Nurse gives you a shot tap. It was exactly the same.) I had like 3 of those in a week and it didn't even register till I was already out of the store and on my way (too cold to go back).

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  15. This issue goes far deeper than your experience and it's rooted in something I despise and hate, but can't do anything about. I'm always always always conscious that as a Black woman in this world, I'm not just representing myself, but all of us because it appears as though the rest of the planet thinks that Black people are monolithic. Because you allowed that tailor to playfully touch you, he might very well think it's permissible to do so to another Black woman. She, in turn, might think of it as sexual assault. As Black woman, I'm sorry to say, we must be careful how we present ourselves especially when we live abroad. My freedom and independence hasn't been compromised because protecting my sisters to the best of my ability is part of that equation. Unfair? Hell yes! Do I sometimes show my ass anyway? Hell yes to that, too, though with much regret later.

    This. Right. Here!

    I get so irritated when I hear women of color, especially black women, think they can excuse a behavior by saying: "It's about my merits and not about the way I look. So, I don't represent my race, that's not what I'm about, blah, blah, blah, blah." And it would be exactly that, if we lived in a perfect world, but we DON'T live in a perfect world and by just the fact that you are a black woman, you have that responsibility to act in the best way possible around people of other races because we're so maligned. Now, I'm not saying that you have to be prim and proper, etc. What I'm saying is that be you, but be the best you because whether you know it or not, agree with it or not, the world is judging your race by the way you are. They don't see a single entity, but instead see the black race as a whole through an individual's actions.

    Sucks? Yes, yes, it does because we SHOULD be judged on our merits alone and not on something as superficial as melanin, but such is the case. The media makes us look and act like buffoons to the rest of the world so it takes us on the smaller scales to change the outlook of the world and the way the world sees us as people, not just single individuals, but also as a whole and to make sure that we don't get the condescion (sp?) of, "Oh, well, you're (use appropriate "compliment" here *sarcasm if you didn't know*) for a black girl/woman/person." As if the good ones as an anomly and the rest of us are still neanderthals.

    It behooves us to show that while some us *do* act the fool, the WHOLE of us are not spoiled because of a few bad apples.

    /rant

    PS: wasn't directed at you DN, but just at the frustration I sometimes feel when the subject is brought up.

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  16. "I'm always always always conscious that as a Black woman in this world, I'm not just representing myself, but all of us because it appears as though the rest of the planet thinks that Black people are monolithic. Because you allowed that tailor to playfully touch you, he might very well think it's permissible to do so to another Black woman."

    AGREED- Reminds me of a discussion that I had with one of my Chinese friends. He talked about 'FACE'... now I've heard of "saving face" but he told me that 'Asian Face' is a form of self-monitoring that allows you to go into the world not only as a representation of yourself but of your culture, race, and family and how one should take pride in that. My parents raised me the same way. "When someone acts a fool it reflects poorly on all of us.." It just allows me to be mindful of my actions and interactions with others(and how subconsciously or consciously race or preconceived notions or bias may play into that).

    @DN
    My first comment was a bit harsh now that I read it bc honestly it was a collective response to another issue. I think this is just an example of difference in perspective and seeing as though this incident was probably all of 5 mins, it probably means something different from your point of view. We've all had those moments when a small incident occurs and we've like Whatevs... then we go home and think about it and it's like "Ahhh WAIT..." Your light-hearted approach gives much insight to your personality-You're sweet, I would definitely say that is much more rational than haulin off and punching an elderly tailor in the face lol. But I get what you guys were saying...

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  18. So it wasn't a Korean culture tap...I'm back to being creeped out by that guy.

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  19. I don't care what the situation is. Unless you are invited to do so, don't even think about putting your hands on me. Depending on the day of the week, any number of things could have happened to old boy, had it been me he slapped on the ass. Break out the can of creep repellent.

    If you're comfortable with other people touching you, whether it is with good intentions or not, then that is entirely on you. Some of us don't like to be touched, representations of race notwithstanding.

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  20. @DN

    I've been where you are now. I wasn't born aware my surroundings here in Asia. It has taken years to understand how I fit into this puzzle both as a pure outsider and a quasi insider. As such, my comments stem from my longevity in the system. Even in Asia, Black women must fight hard for the basic dignity that should be afforded all human beings because other people honestly think they have the right to take liberties with us.

    @EdGray

    Gods, you've made me realize that there is a post must I must write regarding the introduction of Black African people to the world, especially here in Asia. *must move my @ss*

    @Amaya
    Some of us don't like to be touched, representations of race notwithstanding.

    *raises fist*

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