12.12.2010

Sao Feng

No Introduction Necessary
First, let's talk haterade: we all know how Chow Yun-Fat's handsomeness is internationally renowned, and that the only reason his appearance was "altered" in the last Pirates of the Carribean flick was he's handsomest member of the cast.

There...I said it.

And now that we got that out the way, killing him off so soon in the film so Elizabeth Swan (yes...another "Swan") could take his place was fail beyond fail.  And let's not even mention what was going on right before he did.  How convenient was it to have Yun-Fat, a man who's been starring in films since Keira Knightley was playing with Barbies, lusting after her, being rejected, and then getting offed and forgotten immediately thereafter?

All this after his bad-ass intro* in which he showed - as Tagawa-sama would say - that Asian men have balls.

We all know the only woman in the main cast even remotely worthy of him was Tia Dalma.  How hot would that have been? (Fics, please!)  I'd gladly trade in both Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones for an unscarred, un-killed Sao Feng.  Fuck...I was diggin' him even while he was scarred, steamin', and spittin' Tang Dynasty poetry.  *shivers with delight*  Can I get an "Amen"?

(By they way, I also dug the ass-kicking Gothic divas behind him and was PISSED when they were offed.  What happened...did Keira Knightley's Skeletor-lookin' ass get jealous or something?)

The treatment of Sao Feng makes me wonder what the point of introducing him to the story in the first place was.  The West triumphing over the East?  'Cause there's fantasy...and then there's reality.

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*Sao Feng's intro, as interpreted by Moi: "That's right, motherfuckers; you better bow down.  How the fuck you gon come up in my city, rob my temple, and then stand in front of me right the hell now talkin' that 'We don't know who he is' shit.  Don't think I won't cut off every inch of them mediocre looks, ho.  Say it again.  Tell me one mo' time that you don't recognize this shady motherfucker.  Say it again and see what happens."

22 comments:

  1. I couldnt sit through At World's End, so I missed the mistreatment of Sao Feng. Hell, I had to come hear to learn his name!

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  2. Girl, you gotta watch that ish. You can find his scenes on YouTube where you can see that he commanded FEAR.

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  3. I love some Chow Yun-Fat ever since the Replacement Killers but I hated this movie for a ton of reasons. Keira is boring to me and they made her the "queen" of the pirates?? I with Anna Maria would come back from the 1st movie to pistol whip her. Tia Dalma was too much of a lady.

    I have a gif of him lighting a cigarette with a burning hundred dollar bill that I can never get to work online so I'll just watch it repeatedly in this site's honor. XD

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  4. I have a gif of him lighting a cigarette with a burning hundred dollar bill that I can never get to work online so I'll just watch it repeatedly in this site's honor. XD

    Woman, you crazy. You have Lenoxave syndrome.

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  5. Glad to see that I'm not the only one who thought that Keira lacked excitement in this movie. I was heartbroken when I found out that Anamaria would not be returning and then I found solace in the awesomeness that was Tia Dalma.

    Hello all! I just had to come out of lurker-mode for this post. I love this blog. XD

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  6. I like the idea of Tia Dalma/Sao Feng fic...

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  7. I gave up on the franchise after the 2nd film. H'Wood beating a dead horse and not knowing when to quit, as usual.

    I admire Chow Yun Fat and have been a fan since his days with John Woo. This Pirates' film was hot garbage, too damn long and I didn't really give a crap about anyone. Wasted $$$ IMO.

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  8. I gave up on the franchise after the 2nd film. H'Wood beating a dead horse and not knowing when to quit, as usual.

    ^This

    This Pirates' film was hot garbage, too damn long and I didn't really give a crap about anyone. Wasted $$$ IMO.

    ^ This too, except I saw it on Starz - or tried to see it on Starz. Thank God for the option of changing channels.

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  9. @ MIN

    Yes. Yes we do. If our blog is too Blasian, or otherwise not your cup of tea, I hear Elsewhere is awfully nice this time of year.

    Now, the reason our blog has taken the recent turn is that it's not enough to talk Blasian theory, so to speak. At some point we have focus on the men and women in the media and give them a nod - both the real & the fictitious.

    As for the substance you claim to crave, it's still here, and there's plenty more on our Facebook. Go read.

    If you wish to further express displeasure on this blog, blasting is not the way to go. Hit the contact link to the right and express yourself like a civilized & respectful human being.

    Anything else is trolling.

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  10. @ MIN

    Deliberate illiteracy is also pathetic.

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  11. The only reason I could sit through At World's End was because I'm sort of a Jack Sparrow fan...but needless to say I was fuming when they offed Chow Yun-Fat...always the POC that get the knife for being too badass *sigh*

    I wish they would bring Tia Dalma back for the next movie. It seems like she was the only female character left in the movie who people ACTUALLY liked.

    @Ankh
    " What happened...did Keira Knightley's Skeletor-lookin' ass get jealous or something?"
    Yes she was! Like every other stick-thin, scrawny White woman out there!

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  12. @ MoonWalker

    needless to say I was fuming when they offed Chow Yun-Fat...always the POC that get the knife for being too badass *sigh*

    Thanks for bringing the dialogue back to the point.

    That said, I concur. Sao Feng caught and held the audience's attention immediately. After he appeared, no one gave a shit about the rest of the cast, except maybe for Jack Sparrow (also a big fan, by the way). I was looking forward to some sword-swinging, gun-slinging action from him, but all we got was his dying in an accident after try to violate Elizabeth - a deliberate redirection to remind audiences whom they're really supposed to pay attention to.

    The writers deserved an "accident" of their own for that.

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  13. Chow Yun Fat makes me want to.....*explodes*, I mean "Curse of the Golden Flower" anyone? He's the only person that can play an amoral cruel devious conniving bastard and still seem noble and well intentioned about it.

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  14. Which is another thing - he's a phenomenal actor. He's really is one person in Replacement Killers, another in Bulletproof Monk, yet another in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, another in Curse of the Golden Flower, and yet even another in Pirates of the Carribean: AWE.

    I don't think Hollywack appreciates this. I think those fucks just try to make dough off his name, without even stopping to think of why he's able to summon millions to theaters.

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  15. Definitely, just like they do with POCs in any other situation i.e. appropriating, co opting elements of our cultures without caring about or understanding them. All for the Benjamin$$$$,

    Then they play innocent and ignorant when these invariably create/reinforce sterotypes: We were just trying to create "diversity"! They cry, when POCS let them know that they fucked it up. "Stop being so controlling, we have the right to misrepresent your culture if we choose to on an unsuspecting public just to pander to their latent racism and make money off of it! IT's our right!" ( A lot of Hollywood liberals fall into this category.)

    Just like Zhi Yi Yang, Gong Li, and Michelle Yeoh, Ken Wantenabe, in "Memoirs of a Geisha", a lengendary talented cast wasted on a terrible film with a terrible script that was blatently Eurocentricly conceived( Is it really so hard for people to read subtitles that you have Asian, except Wantenabe, not even Japanese actors speaking accented English in a story that takes place entirely in Japan?)

    Did they even care about the talents they were wasting? NO! They picked the actors based off of their ability to speak ENGLISH! Zhiyi auditioned years before when she first got her start but the didn't pick he because the only english she knew was "Hire Me" never mind that Antonio Banderas showed in Interview with a Vampire, that you can "act" in English without speaking it(he didn't know english when he was cast to play "Armand", didn't even show in his performance!) Just like some American Actors can act in different languages without knowing or understanding a word of them. It's called acting and good director can use it to their advantage.

    That's why most of the cast of "Memoirs of a Geisha" were already known to the American public. It saddens me to think what could have been accomplished with a competent filmmaker out of that decent entertaining novel.

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  16. I've been annoying the CRAP out of the fiance to ask his Dad to let me borrow his Chow Yun-Fat movies (I would ask the man myself, but he's short, scowlly and only speaks in Chinese - even though he understands English perfectly well; he keeps doing it to make me learn - which I should, but damn is it *HARD*); the man is a bigger fan than me, and that's saying something.

    The problem *I* had in this movie? Why did Sao Feng had to automatically ASSume the Keira Knightly's character was Calypso? I mean, I get it for plot reasons (and somehow, thinking about it now, not even then), but seriously? NOT EVERYONE WANTS A WHITE WOMAN, HOLLYWOOD!!!! Gotdamn!!!!!!

    But anyway, *looks at Yun-Fat, fans self* I love that man. I loved him in God of Gamblers, I loved him in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, I loved him Replacement Killers, Curse of the Golden Flower, that movie with Mark Wahlberg that annoyed me because of Mark Wahlberg(I can't STAND that man): The Corruptor?, A Better Tomorrow, A Better Tomorrow 2, Once A Thief, Anna and the King (even though I can't stand Jodie Foster in that movie), Bulletproff Monk (even though I just hated that movie in general), and just ... *sigh*

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  17. His performance in Anna and the King was OUTSTANDING.

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  18. @Ankh, I know right? Wasn't it just? I'm replaying the scene in my head when he was crossing the bridge on his horse, looking all proud and lighting that damn cigar...yeah, baby, yeah.

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  19. That's exactly the scene I was thinking about!

    Ohhhhhh..and remember the scene from right before, when he hugged all his children goodbye?

    (Granted, Bai Ling ran that film. Her execution scene makes me cry every time.)

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  20. Ohhhhhh..and remember the scene from right before, when he hugged all his children goodbye?

    (Granted, Bai Ling ran that film. Her execution scene makes me cry every time.)


    I got all teary-eyed when his favorite daughter got sick and passed away. THe way that man just broke down.

    And agreed with Bai-Ling. Lady maybe crazy as hell, but she can friggin ACT! I've seen a lot of her other stuff (saw her first in the Angel episode 'She', and I remembered that because I LOVE that episode with her in it!!! They should've brought her back) and after that became hooked on her. She's amazing and I love the fearless roles she lokes to take.

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