"Akira" update...

As you know, TPTB in Hollywood (or as some of you are now calling it, "Hollywhite"), decided, for whatever reason, to make a live-action version of "Akira."  The Narrative jumped on the obvious bullshit with both feet.  The quick and dirty version is that they're not making a live-action version of Akira; they're making some sort of bastardized, whitewashed, 90210-esque variation that completely misses the whole point of the anime classic...and then decided to slap "Akira" on as the title.  Voila...remake.

We got a name for this where I'm from (two, actually):  Fishing for Suckers or Selling Wolf Cookies.

Since this has already been dealt with in a previous post, I'll get to why I'm posting an update.  A writer for cracked.com has supposedly been sent a prelim script of the movie (it is NOT a remake, IMHO), and offers his opinions on it.  Hil-freaking-hilarious!  If this is the proposed script, then there is no doubt that everyone responsible for it is drunk, high, or trippin'.  Maybe all three.  Read for yourself and I'll let you be the judge.

BTW, Cracked.com is now one of my favorite sites.


  1. Cracked.com has always been one of my favorite sites.

    Someone suggested the movie be called Steve, right? No one in their right minds would see that; thus, Akira it is.

  2. *takes a break from reading to mutter* Oh sweet God in Heaven....=_=

  3. This is a remake of Akira the same way that the piece of crap, whitewashed, racebending Dragonball Evolution was the live-action version of Akira Toriyama's classic, Dragon Ball. Or in other words, it's not. *sigh*

    White people are trying so hard to stay relevant. I find their desperation both frustraing and highly amusing.

  4. That script....is pure blasphemy.

  5. @ cinnamon

    Its funny how the only way they can stay relevant is culture theft.

  6. Its funny how the only way they can stay relevant is culture theft.

    This what I've been trying to say, and not saying it well. Excellent phrasing. No one cares about them anymore, so they're trying to convince the rest of us that we do. When that doesn't work, they try to appropriate our cultures in vain attempts to get our money and our admiration.

  7. ...they try to appropriate our cultures in vain attempts to get our money and our admiration.

    Good luck with that. I've been following the commentary on "Akira," and the sentiments of the respondents echo our own. People are getting tired of this shit. I've always said that when people get tired of getting tired, then they do something to change the situation.

    I'm of the belief that it is only a matter of time before this happens. I don't know how or when, but I do know it will.

  8. It's as if they're so high that they are either blind to or outright ignore one solid marketing fact - when a product already has a strong and loyal following, DO NOT CHANGE THE FORMULA AND PISS THOSE PEOPLE OFF! Coca Cola learned that lesson the hard way in the 1980s, and both Dragon Ball and Airbender crashed under the weight of a disgusting public withdrawing their financial support.

    Yet here we are again. I'm beginning to think that these Hollywood Honchos are masochists of the highest degree.


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