There are many reasons for this rarity in China. One comes from media stereotypes that portray black women as difficult to control, oversexed, much larger in size and not attractive due to skin colour and body shape. In return, Chinese men are portrayed as weak, shy men that would not be able satisfy a black woman sexually. In addition to the media stereotypes, there is the traditional thinking and underlying prejudices that still exist in China regarding race mixing and the notion that a Chinese man’s reputation and family must look good and be protected. Dating or marrying a black woman would not look good in front of others and cause negative attention towards his family. However, marrying or dating a white woman seems to raise their status among their peers and is even celebrated by many.
...And how is it the fault of the media that Chinese (and many other Asian and non-Asian) guys just don't find dark skin attractive? I mean specifically, what show have you seen that says "Oh yeah, by the way, dark skin is not attractive...just so you know." I mean if I just happen to not be attracted to e.g., blondes, no one really cares. But clearly, if someone just happens to not be attracted to dark skin, then something foul must be afoot.
...You're presentation of this issue seems to veer toward dangerous territory. It's somewhat wrong-headed to suggest that a mathematical happenstance (there are lots of single Chinese men AND lots of single Black women...it's a match made in arithmetical heaven) should bear any consideration in this issue. It almost sounds like your saying, "Well, since there is no one else around, I guess we're just stuck with each other." I certainly hope you're not suggesting that these singles should just "settle for each other."
I cannot speak for Asian men on this, so I'm keeping this post strictly about black women. But any Asian man who wants to write a guest post can feel free.
I've been all over this topic on my blog, so I'm not going to go into depth here. Instead, I'm going to quote a comment from the article, a reply to the one above:
The media is full of propaganda that perpetuates negative stereotypes about Blacks, particularly Black women, whereas the media depicts white women as beautiful, desirable, etc. Of course the media is not going to outright say, "White women are better," but it is implied when all the Black women you see represent a white ideal of beauty and when the standard of beauty is pale skin, blue eyes, blonde hair. You see various sources talk about Chinese people's fixation on White people, yet you find it inconceivable that they may have a dislike for dark skin due to this? Media has influence. In fact, some say it has the most powerful influence in the world. For people who see very few Blacks, it is expectable that they would buy into the media depictions of Blacks.
And the problem is not that they don't prefer dark skin, the problem is their bias and disdain for it.
There's nothing more annoying than when people dismiss the effects of media, or shy away from the topic of conditioning. Ironically, people don't do this because they fear being branded a racist or a sexist, or what have you; it's just humans don't like the idea of being controlled at the mental level. Because the mind is supposed to be our final and most private sanctum, the last thing we want to hear is that we've made major decisions like whom we date/marry, what car we buy, or what city we move to simply because something we saw all the time on TV, in film, or in magazines. We don't want to think that deep within the safe recesses of our own minds, someone else is pulling strings, telling us what to think, and thus controlling our behavior. It's a downright horrifying thought, and so the denial and avoidance of the issue is quite understandable.
But not forgivable.
This myth actually cracks me up. For one, this is a notion strongly pushed by the media, and two, I find it hilarious that people rush to believe that all those weepy, whiny, desperate black women who gush about their romantic failure over the net represent ALL black women. They don't, just like everyone else's online losers aren't representative of them.
Black women in America are single because we're extremely choosy. The average black woman in America gets hit on, all the time, by all sorts of men. And it's not simply because we're black, but because we're women - fundamental law of nature, ladies and gents. So we can go ahead and just dismiss that myth with a quickness. Black women are approached all the time and reject men all the time, hence the uppity/cold/standoffish stereotype.
The reason for all this rejection is that we find most of these men
Part of the upset is due to racism, but much of it is also due to sexism as well. We demand that the men we date/marry must fully respect us in addition to desiring us; thus, if we sense a man approaching us because he feels he can't get any other kind of woman, he's going to be rejected. And men - regardless of color - are still having trouble learning to appropriately deal with 21st Century women, as we no longer need them to provide for us, don't have to marry them, don't have to bear their children, and can comfortably engage in casual sex (contrary to popular male myth).
And this is what I think is the ultimate "intimidation" factor with us; black women have very high standards in terms of how we want men to treat us. Unlike with other women, we're not as obsessed with men's money; we prefer to have our own to begin with. But how men talk to us, how they see us, whether or not they're loyal - these issues are our number one priority.
Myth #3 ~ Black Women Should Take Steps to Prove the Stereotypes are Wrong
Um...no. This is the only part of Jo Gan's article that I really disagree with. Black women don't need to prove a damn thing to anybody but ourselves; any man who rolls over and automatically believes negative stereotypes about us is not worth having. We're not the ones who enslaved and colonized the world and caused the bulk of the problems it's experiencing today. We didn't do anything to anybody.
|Julia Pace Mitchell|
And before people rush to blame hip hop and its objectification of women, remember that commercial hip hop is not "real" hip hop, and that its "artists" are chosen and funded by the white PTB who want the world to always see black people as violent, ill-mannered thugs and whores in music. They're not sending Asheru out on a world tour to rap poetically about philosophy, history, theology, and the importance of fatherhood. They're sending out a drugged-up Lil Wayne to do that whining thing he does about getting licked "like a lollipop" by some gold-digging whore.
So black women don't need to prove a goddamn thing. White media simply puts us on the defensive - as it does with all people of color - so as to distract us from the fact that white people need to be proving themselves to everyone else. They have not earned the red carpet welcome, especially in countries of color. Ergo, marriage to them shouldn't be seen as an elevation of any sort. If anything, one might want to pause for a moment and raise their eyebrow at a couple of unfortunate facts: their genes are recessive and their heritage is rife with bad karma.
Now, as with my last post, I'm going to end this with the words of an Asian man; this time, it's one who also had a few things to say on Jo Gan's article:
I'd just like to say (as a Taiwanese guy) that I definitely DON'T buy into that archaic backward mentality that some Chinese men have with regards to protecting their reputation (linked to family honour) and hence not getting involved in [BW/AM] relationships. If anything, I loath being associated with people who hold such ideals of racial hierarchy. The obsession with status and the fear of being 'lowered' is such a wimpy trait, if only some men would just think on their own accord (it's the product of a collectivist society unfortunately). I learnt to wrest myself away from that influence a while ago and am glad to do so, people can judge me all they want, I could care less.Suggested Reading
"The Black Women I Know", from What Tami Said