2.25.2012

A Tale of Whoa

*sighs and rubs temples*

Y'all...peep this shameful ish.

When last we looked, I'd issued my roommate a deadline (tomorrow actually) to get to know Mr. Whoa a bit better.  To do whatever we had to do get this show on the road.  It had already taken her 2.5 months just to learn his name - we needed to get things going.

First we went to the nail parlor to get some grooming done.  But afterward, she balked, saying she was tired of tofu and didn't want to go to Mr. Whoa's restaurant today (we eat a LOT of tofu in our apartment).  I knew she was just stalling but I caved and we went to one of the malls.  It was packed, no parking, and infested with heinous throngs of families.  So we turned around.  Getting to the other mall meant driving by Mr. Whoa's restaurant for the third time, which my roommate tried to ignore.  We went to the other mall, stuffed ourselves at a different restaurant, bought some clothes and came home...which meant driving by Mr. Whoa's restaurant again.

ME: Girl...I'm tellin' you.  Go inside, by a drink or something else small, say hi, refer to him by name, chat a bit, and bounce.

ROOMIE: *stubbornly shakes head*

We end up in Mr. Whoa's parking lot, much to my non-surprise.  I told her I would wait for her in the car while she goes inside her by grown self and talks to Mr. Whoa.  We both look inside and sure enough, he's there and the mere sight of him hits us like Whoa.  The restaurant's not busy, he's not taking calls, so I'm thinking this will be it.  Progress will be made this time.

My roommate goes inside after a lot of heckling from Moi.  Meanwhile, I'm in my car gettin' comfy, changing music and all that, when I look up to see Mr. Whoa handing my roommate a receipt.  She turns come back out to the car, and I can see that's empty-handed.

ME:  ...WTF?

ROOMIE: (miffed)  I have to wait for my food!

ME:  *blink*

ROOMIE:  I can't talk to him.  All his women are there today.  But when he saw me, he said, "Hi, lady!"

Now, I thought she meant his "other women" were there, like that BW who tried to cock-block her.  Turns out she's referring to his female coworkers.  He's the only guy working today.

ME: (exasperated) Did you at least thank him by name?

ROOMIE: *withdraws into herself in terror*

Now, Narrators...you have to imagine this next part from Mr. Whoa's perspective.

A woman he has to know by now is crushing on him walks into his restaurant (sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, I know).  She orders the same thing she's ordered for over a month now, and then practically runs back to her waiting car.  Minutes later, a furious pygmy with a mini-fro barges in, followed by the sheepish-looking woman.  The pygmy (same one from last week) is grumbling something along the lines of, "....gon' be the death of me."  She and the woman take two seats near the counter, waiting for their food.

The woman refuses to make eye contact.  The pygmy makes small talk.

The food finally comes and Mr. Whoa is offering condiments and such while the woman stiffly, mutely accepts everything and tries to flee.

But the pygmy won't let her.  The pygmy instead looks directly at Mr. Whoa and pointedly states, "Thanks, Daniel*."

"Daniel's" face breaks into a huge smile.  Grinning from ear to ear, he casually lounges against his counter.  Suddenly the woman is brave enough to chat with him a little bit, but the pygmy notices she still can't say his name.

*rubs temples*

The woman and the pygmy head out the door, and resume their bickering in the car.

Lawd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*not his real name, of course.

36 comments:

  1. Mr. Whoa was definitely waiting for that >_<

    ReplyDelete
  2. *head-f*cking-desk x 9000*

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do I even need to say it? Do I? Do I?

    Fuck it, I'm gonna...

    Clearly, she's not ready. She can't handle something as simple as talking to this guy??? Swag works both ways, girlfriend. She's got his attention. He knows she's feelin' him, and I'm sure he's made it clear he's diggin' her. But she's pullin' this old high-school bullshit. Daniel is prolly being patient right now, but there's only so much a man will put up with it. Eventually, he will move on. And my fingers are crossed in hopes that he moves on in your direction. Because I know you'll know what to do with his fine ass.

    But you's a classy beetch and you won't do that to your roomie. However, to hell with this shy bullshit. It's fucking 2012 and shyness stopped being cute after age 12. She needs to shit or get off the pot. She needs to woman up and talk to that man. Or let him go. I have little patience for grown-ass women too scared to talk to a man when the two-way signals are as loud and as bright as you've described.

    *rolls eyes* Next!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The deadline is counting down until tomorrow night. After that, she's on her with "Daniel" and I'm not talking about it with her anymore.

      Delete
    2. I heard that. We need to get a "Daniel" for you; not waste time trying to help someone else.

      Of course, I'm selfish...

      Delete
    3. I don't see helping a good friend (she's my mother's adopted child) as a waste, and I would prefer my Daniel to be much shorter than her Daniel because dude is two times my height. *shakes head* WTF would I do with all of that?

      Delete
    4. *grins* You mean you don't know?? But like I said, you're a classy chick.

      Delete
    5. Hello,I'm a reader of your blog this my first time commenting,I just had to on this one. Ank what to do with the man climb him like a ladder,lady sister. Ha, Ha, Ha. No REALLY

      Delete
  4. Sounds like she has some anxiety/insecurities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She reports being intimidated by the interracial factor. I think he's her "first".

      Delete
  5. Ok...sounds like she needs a stricter ultimatum. And some vodka shots. Lots of vodka shots.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everybody tonight - including myself - has given her that advice. We've told her to knock back a few, charge in tomorrow, and just give the man her number.

      Delete
    2. I'll be rooting for her, then. Come on, Roomie, you can do it! GO GO GO!

      (I'd throw in an 'Aja Aja Fighting!', but that would be overkill)

      Delete
  6. NisaLily

    One thing though. If Mr. Whoa is getting all of these indications that she is interested, why does she have to do all of this work? She already comes to his establishment just to see him and goes goo goo on him. Maybe she feels too out on a limb already. Does she give him the space to ask her out or ask her for her number or ask her for her name? He seems to be (based on description)a self possessed and confident person who must have women fawning over his hotness all the time. Maybe he needs to come to her.

    In my limited experience, men who look like Mr. Whoa (fine as hell) are so used to women coming to them that they don't put much effort forth because they expect the woman to do all the work. Also, in my limited experience, asking men out hasn't worked out as well as when they do the asking for that same reason. Anyway, like I said, maybe she needs to give him the space to ask and if he doesn't maybe that isn't such a bad thing. A face is a face (no matter how gorgeous) but it's little things like that that can tell her how she'll be treated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why does she have to do all of this work?

      She's not doing any work. She's not been doing anything, hence the posts.

      Does she give him the space to ask her out or ask her for her number or ask her for her name?

      He's at work when she sees him, and so he has to be careful. They don't have each other's contact info and she can only see him on specific days of the week. All I've asked my roommate to do is move the conversation outside the work environment so they can both speak freely and she's panicked every time.

      Delete
  7. @ LB Song (?)

    I deleted your comment by accident. Feel free to repost at your convenience. Sorry!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I would hate to see this guy slip by. Maybe 's one of those women who prefer for the man to initiate as I prefer a man doing that to me. I'm shy and I could imagine her difficulties wanting to get to know Mr.Whoa( I so much want your roommate to get to know him or the other way around) with someone looking that good.I'm shy,but not to the point where I cannot say "Hi" to him. Just a simple greeting and a common topic of discussion had led me up to having some good conversations with them and one case..dating though it wasn't my intention in doing that. I'm praying for a miracle that one of them will make the first move.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm like you I prefer a guy to approach me. I did it once and it did not go well. I've never done it again.

      Delete
    2. I honestly prefer for the dude to ask me out as well, however, I don't mind striking up a conversation in a neutral place. I feel I should be able to talk to him, maintain a conversation, and refer to him by name.

      The way Daniel's face lit up when simply acknowledged by name indicated that this whole sitch should be a lot simpler than it is.

      Delete
    3. I think the thing is you need to let the guy know that if he approaches he has a chance...taking double takes and smiling, looking him in the eye when she say hello and smiling....things that show..."hey if you ask you might just get my number". I get hit on by Asian men in the street all the time, but its because when I see a good looking one, I make sure that my behavior screams "Hot hot hot...me likeee...ALOT!"

      Delete
  9. I can totally visualize you doing that too! Now I am wondering what you're going to say about me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel bad for your friend, she is obviously distressed! I think Mr. Whoa can tell that she is not ready for him to directly approach her, which is why he is just letting her know he is attracted to her and letting her get herself together first.

      I don't think I would be ready for a guy that foine either. I wouldn't feel confident enough in my beauty :( though you never know how a man sees you- he might think you are intimidatingly foine also!

      Delete
  10. And the second, and I mean the second, your roommate complains about not being able to find a good man, throw a box of tofu at her. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL - her doctor says she can't eat at the restaurant (blood pressure and all). So...it looks like it may be the end of Mr. Whoa.

      Delete
    2. She can still pick up your food though, he doesn't have to know. And because you called him Daniel, I pictured some kind of sexy combination of Daniel Henney and Rain that doesn't look like Frankenstein's East Asian monster. Maybe she does need those vodka shots...

      Delete
    3. He doesn't look like Rain or Henney.

      I've decided that if I can snag pics, I will bring visions of Mr. Whoa.

      Delete
    4. Can you tell us what celebrity he somewhat resembles?

      Maybe it isn't meant to be. I mean, I can understand feeling out of place before a beautiful man but you gotta at least try. Or just get over it.

      Delete
    5. Hiroyuki Sanada, but younger and prettier.

      Delete
    6. He must be sexy if he looks like him, but younger and prettier.

      Delete
    7. Damn I still want a picture haha.

      Delete
  11. Apparently there's another dude who works there that roommate forgot to mention. She says he reminds her of David So.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dag, I'm eating at the wrong Chinese joint! The only guy at my local one is a Chewbacca looking white dude who married the daughter of the owners.

      Delete
    2. a Chewbacca looking white dude

      *stroke*

      You were wrong for that.

      Delete
  12. Umm... Imma need her to get up on that...STAT.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ROTFLMAO...love this!!! I can see it playing out in my head...lol I've been the shy one and I've been the pygmy a time or two!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are no longer accepted.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.