5.31.2012

Interracial Dating: How to Approach and Get an Asian Man's Attention...

In Today's world where technology is linking people together at a faster pace and people are messaging each other on Facebook, tweeting each other on Twitter, and getting to know each other through other social media outlets, people are able to learn more and more about different cultures and interests and become more open-minded to dating not just people who have different personalities and tastes, but also people from different backgrounds, races, and countries.

There are an incredible amount of intelligent, strong, career-oriented, fun, interesting, beautiful women out there that have asked me several questions about wanting to date an Asian man but they don't know how to go about it.  I think that it is great that you want to explore and get to know new people and different cultures.  It takes an incredible amount of courage to try something new.  If you are thinking about dating outside your race, do your best to be open-minded and willing to learn about each others' differences and similarities.   

If you are attracted to an Asian man and are tired of waiting around for him to make the first move, today is your opportunity to step up and take the initiative.  Most women think that if a man is interested in them, that the man should make the first move.  That is not entirely the case, there are plenty of Asian men that may be interested in a beautiful, stunning woman like yourself but they just do not have the courage at that moment to act on it.  Whether it's because he could be shy or just have the fear that you may reject him, he could be interested in you.  The only real way to know for sure is to find out for yourself.  Here are a few ways on how to approach an Asian man and get his attention.

Smiling and saying 'Hi'.  This is one of the easiest ways to get someone's attention and get them to notice you.  The reason is not everyone does it, and it separates you from other people as having good manners and being respectful. This is a great ice breaker especially if you or him are nervous or shy.

Saying their name.  When you talk to someone and you say their name in conversation, it makes that person feel important that you took the time to notice and remember their name.  You'd be surprised by the reactions you get from people who take the time to say their name after you say good morning or thank you. 

Ask open-ended questions.  When you ask him a question, make sure you ask a question that does not have a yes or no response.  The purpose of this is to break the ice and engage him in conversation.  You can say something like 'What kind of music do you listen to' or 'What kind of movies do you like to watch' then go from there.

Take an interest in your similar interests.  Talk about things that you like to do on your free time or things that he likes to do on his free time.  Explore each others' interests and who knows, you can possibly plan on hanging out together.

Exchange phone numbers.  When you're getting to know someone initially, do not tell that person everything about yourself on the first try.  That's what dating is for.  Just offer bits and pieces of fun, interesting things about yourself then exchange numbers so you can talk later then hopefully you'll get a chance to meet up later.

Don't assume.  No one is perfect and not every person you talk to is the same as the previous guy so do your best to get to know each person on an individual basis.

Be yourself and have fun!!! :)

Hopefully with some of these tips, you should be able to build some confidence and take a chance to explore something fun and new.  Everything is hard at first but the more you do it, the easier it will get.  With that said, I challenge YOU to initiate at least three conversations with three different Asian men you like in person.  Feel free to message me on Facebook or Twitter and let me know how it goes.

35 comments:

  1. i wish i knew 3 asian men in person

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you for reading @Lilymoon!!! Don't worry, we're out there. :)

      Delete
    2. I just met you today, kinda,you poke me on facebook. I am with lilymoon, sometimes it is hard, even when you are outgoing. It is still fun to try though. Sometimes I get the feeling that most of the men in this area, (Asian or not) are just really piss off people, every day is a bad one. We still have hope.
      Marquita Goodrich Facebook.

      Delete
  2. This was a really good post! I don't know any Asian men in person. All of my Asian male friends are people who I have met online. Whenever I do met someone in person, I will remember your tips! x)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you @Panda Ninja!!! I'm sure the Asian men that you decide are worthy of getting to know you will be just as happy to meet you as you are to meet them. :)

      Delete
  3. Great post Robert very interesting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you @Yessenia for reading!!! :)

      Delete
  4. Great positive post Robert. I'll have to follow this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good tips and all, but they can be used for any man, not just an Asian man. A man is a man is a man. Remember, don't date something just for their ethnicity folks. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you for reading @Amanda!!! I completely understand that these tips could be used for any man. I was helping answer a question in this blog that a woman asked me about being shy when it comes to approaching an Asian man. Not everyone is completely confident, some people find approaching someone from a different race challenging. Thank you though Amanda. :)

      Delete
  6. I agree, these can used for ANY man, not just an Asian man. I loved these tips, though! I feel that sometimes people tend to become a bit intimidated by another person's race; instead of realizing that at the end of the day, People are people. Great post, Robert. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you so much @Jemeelaa!!! :)

      Delete
  7. When I looked at this, I was thinking about a situation that I was in when I was 20. It was with a Chinese-American home physical therapist that my late aunt had.

    I was one of those " I wonder what kind of guy he is" kind of person and wondered did he like Black women? Far as this guy, who I'll call Terry, the first thing that caught my attention was his great looks, and nice smile. I just remembered just being really nuts about him( of course I didn't let him see me act like some controllable 16 year old girl with a school girl crush).Although we never dated, I came out being pleased with him as a person. He seemed like a lot of fun, very smart, always had a sunny disposition about himself and was a well rounded person who I became comfortable with holding forever conversations with..lol! I was hoping that a part of Terry would have asked me out on a date,but I never would know the answer to that question and I'm old fashioned. I was hoping that he would make the first move.

    Though I'm laying low on dating, I'm still being asked out on dates. I admit to having an initial shock at my first direct encounter with an Asian( Indian) man asking me out. I thought that they were hard to get and being Black , I thought that they wouldn't want to date a Black woman like me. Just when I thought that he would be the only one to ask me out, there would be another one, a Filipino and not too ago, another Indian to do it. I do not consider myself to be anything special,but just goes to show that if a man find you to be appealing in some way, he'll let you know in his own little way how he feels about you.

    If I wanted a boyfriend/husband , I believe in letting nature taking it's course.I'm always been attracted to men who like me from their hearts. I want a man..no matter the race..to see me for who I'am and it not because I'm trying to make myself look good,but I mean it. As I mentioned, I was head over heals over Terry, perhaps one of the biggest crushes I've even had and my folks remarked about. The more I got to know him, the more I was fascinated by him as a person though it was a short period of time ( 2 months).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you so much for reading @M!!! I really appreciate it. I'm hoping we can learn from our differences and similarities so it can bring us together. :)

      Delete
  8. from my point of view, it's very dificult for me to talk to a Asian men. first of all most of them are shy. and because i like they culture and learn couple of thing since i was eight and i think the are beautifull in everyway specially they eyes. but whenever i met one such is very rare. i'm always worry and scare to ask them questions because i dont know. i think i am scare to ask the wrong,stupid questios or come out like i am try to impressed them by what i know about the culture so decide to be more like admire then .....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you @Nathalie!!! It's okay to be shy to talk to Asian men at first. The best thing to do to build confidence is to just say hi and smile. You don't necessarily want to date every man you say hi or smile to. The point is to build gradual, consistent confidence so you're more comfortable. Then after awhile, the conversations will come easily when you're ready.

      Delete
    2. @Robert .....<<<<<<<< thank you for the the advice i will.

      Delete
  9. I do each thing on a daily base, maybe that is why a get a lot of guy friends lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. I use these strategies often to strike up conversations with Asian guys. The only one I don't find myself doing is using someone's name often during a first meeting. I know that it does create a feeling of intimacy though, and I will try to do it more.

    Living in a big city with lots of universities and a huge international population means that I see and get a chance to meet lots of Asian guys. Ladies, if you want in increase your chance of meeting Mr. Right, location is ~everything~. Since I can't easily pack up and head to Asia (god I wish I could) I simply focus on all the Asian guys around me here.

    It's not exactly the cultural norm for women to openly express interest in men, so don't be put off if he seems kinda surprised. He also may have never even considered AMBW as a possibility before, so it might take a minute for the concept to sink in.

    Sometimes I hear BW say, and I often feel too, that we want the guys to pursue us! However, I try to remember that my success rate (defined as the guy being polite and friendly when I approach him) is through the roof. Men who approach women run a much higher risk of getting painfully shot down- add in the interracial aspect and the odds of a guy getting rejected increase by a good quotient, or at least he probably believes it does. I can see why guys play it safe and don't approach black women that often. :( I figure that each time I chat up a cute Asian guy it might lead to getting to know someone new, and it will spread AMBW awareness for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you @Joyous!!! I completely agree. I've had several occasions where women told me they were attracted to me but never acted on it because they thought Asian men only dated Asian women, which is not true in all cases. Thanks for sharing and readin. :)

      Delete
    2. Hello, I just wanted to say that I am a 22 year old black girl who lives it Pittsburgh, PA didn't really find myself attracted enough to Asian guys to wanna date them until I was 17 years old... Now I have dated black and white guys all my life and at the age of 17 I wanted to give Asian guys a chance, and their a lot of asian guys that go/live here for school or work buuut (and their is a but)....

      In the past I have tried both in and out of my Chinese church to pursue them but sadly they only seem to be into Asian girls or White girls, Or dare I say.... Men:.....(


      And they either say I'm dating someone or are just not interested, and honestly that hurts my goddam feelings!!! I mean I am gonna try online dating to have better luck because I don't wanna give up and holes that I won't be rejected dozens more times than I get yes's.... And helpful/uplifting advice I'll gladly take^__^

      Delete
  11. Saying their name. When you talk to someone and you say their name in conversation, it makes that person feel important that you took the time to notice and remember their name. You'd be surprised by the reactions you get from people who take the time to say their name after you say good morning or thank you.

    And be sure to pronounce names correctly. Don't shorten or give nicknames without permission.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you @Ankhesen Mie!!! I completely agree with that. :)

      Delete
    2. ^^This!!!!!!!

      Good post, Robert. True and will work for any ethnicity. And as my mama used to say, "Closed mouth don't get fed."

      Delete
  12. Hello Robert,
    I will test your tips with an Asian guy. Thanks! :-)
    Just to introduce me : I'm a French girl I live in France (my parents are from the Caribbean), I have met Asian guys at a K-pop party and so far we keep in touch. I like one of this guys in particular, we share interests especially around Japanese culture. When I met him, he came to me easily, he was funny and he showed some interest but it does not mean I am the kind of girl he likes. I want to show him I'm interested in him but I fear to be rejected (I think he likes only Asian girls...I don't know actually).
    I see him soon, I will try follow your advice.
    OLIVIA

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very good advice! Good post


    Also,
    I found a very funny video on interracial dating that made me laugh. I wasn't sure where to throw it. but decided to throw it here. It has eye candy for men and women. Skip the minute of her putting on makeup and eventually you would start laughing. this chick is crazy
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THFYrZo7UuU&feature=relmfu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>>>> Thank you @kesia!!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read. Hope I can count on your on-going support. I plan on posting more blogs and continuation of stories I have been working on. :)

      Delete
  14. Oh, goodness. I'm glad I found this blog. :3 But I'm still on the young side, being 18, so for me, I think it's more that people haven't matured, that they don't notice I've taken an interest and even tell them I like them to their faces. Graduated already, by the way, and am going to college in the fall.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks again Robert for letting us ladies know what we should know about approaching an Asian guy.

    However, I've not had many "successful" meetings with Asian guys where I live. And although I live in somewhat of a big city (Baltimore). I haven't gotten a successful response from Asian guys. What I mean by successful is getting him to just talk to me, ask me questions (after I've asked him questions), and *gasp* to even dare think I'd get his cell phone # LOL! I'm always super friendly to everybody I meet, guys are no expectations. If I find him attractive and I think he maybe slightly interested I'll go for it only to be "shot-down" by a lack of something on the guys part. Not all of the Asian guys I've encounted are this way, lol, it just seems as of late they have been.

    I'm not giving up on Asian men, I think some Asian men are interested in black women, and some just aren't. LOL!

    Robert, if you don't mind could you share with me/us you're ethnic background. I ask because you have an Americanized name, but you are an Asian man, right?
    Thanks again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it depends on how you are approaching the guys. Asian men are just guys. Sometimes women can accidentally approach them the wrong way. It got so bad that one man actually blogged about things women should not say to an Asian man. I suggest leaving race out and treating them as an individual. I barely ask guys "what are they" I changed to really Who are they? I think that will really help. Does with me. Try to be understanding and compassionate. Guys look a character and how you come off. Get to know more about them than their culture. Also keep your tastes open. Try not to focus on a specific Asian man but just men. Some girls want a specific guy (Japanese, Korean, Chinese) but if you leave your taste open to all you won't be tempted to ask what "nationality" are you.

      Delete
  16. When I first read this blog entry, I almost dismissed it with the thought, "No new information here. This is nothing more than a description of how to treat ANYONE you're interested in knowing better, romantic interest or not."

    And then I realized how perfect that is. You've hit it spot on. If you're interested in someone, act like you want to get to know them! Be interested in their name, their interests, and the things they say. It's really that simple. Relationship - in whatever form in may take - will grow naturally when you take that first open, honest step of being open to getting to know a person.

    I appreciate your focus on the basics of relationship. They really cannot be overemphasized.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are no longer accepted.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.