12.03.2012

Frak, I'm really going to be a father

Jameelah and I have just found out that our baby is a boy. We are ecstatic. Sure, we would love a daughter just as much as we now love our son, and I know that in some parallel universe, we are happily walking around a Ross store, looking at tiny little dresses and imagining what she would look like in them. Then we would drive our flying minivan back to our house on the moon to watch a version of “Revolution that” does not suck.

But, in my sporadic daydreams of fatherhood, I’ve always pictured a little boy. One with unkempt hair and a mischievous smile. I’d teach him how to skip rocks, and whistle, and put up framed artwork—manly crap like that. I would make sure that his fruit juice has 100% the daily value of Vitamin C. On nice days I would take him to the park, help him climb up to the top of the curly plastic slide, reassure him that it is OK, that I would catch him, and then I would wait at the other end with my arms wide open.

Now that I know for sure we will have a boy, the daydreams have become more vivid. I start envisioning little father-son moments where I would pass down pearls of wisdom that have been culled from decades of a hard-fought life. Wisdom like, “It is not talent that leads to success, but perseverance.” And “Intelligence is not determined by what you know, but what you do.” And “Don’t seem too competent, because people will just ask you to do more work and sit on an Advisory Committee.”

“Huy Jr.,” I would say as we sit on our porch steps, the sky in front of us painted in layers of gold and crimson by the setting sun, “sometimes when you slide down a curly plastic slide, static electricity builds, and that’s why you got shocked.” He would look up at me, his big brown eyes brimming with tears. “You must learn that occasionally, things don’t turn out the way you expect,” I would continue, recognizing a teachable moment, “but you should keep exploring the world, my son, for there is much joy and beauty in it, despite the occasional unpleasant surprise.”

“Thanks, Daddy,” he would say, “that slide really scared the frak out of me.”

“I know, but it’s OK…wait, what did you just say?”

“It scared the frak out of me.”

“Who taught you that word?”

“What, they say it all the time on Battlestar Galactica. ‘You frakking motherfrakker!’”

“How have you been watching Battlestar Galactica? We don’t have cable.”

“Dude, I’m five and a half. I just stream the episodes on my iPad 9. That, and Game of Thrones.”

“Huy Jr., you know your mother and I forbid you from using the iPad 9. The Retina Display technology was found in 2017 to cause eye cancer! You’re grounded!”

“I hate you!” he would say, before hopping onto his hover board and flying off to his solar-powered treehouse.

At this point, I would snap out of the daydreaming, seized by bouts of fear and panic. This would be followed by a few minutes of freaking out about how the hell I’m qualified to be a father. I have no parenting experience! I have managed to kill a lucky bamboo! Kids are smart these days, and they grow up in a world more and more dominated by technology, which they will understand far better than most of us could.

After panicking for a few minutes, I would calm down. This week, I was able to feel the baby kick. My son: such a tiny, fragile life form, growing and developing. All the fears and anxiety melted away, replaced with the image of his little-boy smile, tousled hair, and the scent of dirt, and grass, and fruit juice with 100% the daily value of Vitamin C. I would drift off into daydream again, imagining another twilight, another poignant father-son moment on the porch: “Dude, Dad, why do we keep sitting on this porch watching the sunset? Are you dying or something? If not, can I go watch the Walking Dead?”

Sigh, it was only a few years ago I could feel him kicking inside his mother's womb...

--
jaggednoodles.com

23 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Ankhesen. I can't wait to meet this little guy.

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  2. I know that Huy is happy that his first born will be an heir. Overall, it just seems that everywhere I turn boys are being born. There would be a time where it was the other way around.Now he'll be able to talk with him about the Superbowl games..lol!

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    1. Thanks, M. Yeah, Superbowl...and the Walking Dead. And when he's six, Breaking Bad.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks, Meanie. Blasian Narrative readers are so sweet, even when their names imply otherwise :)

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  4. I know I'm new here, but I've been lurking around. This is so sweet! Congratulations Huy!

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    1. Thank you, Lost Girl! And welcome to the Narrative.

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  5. I must say I think Huy is hilarious! Thought I'd come out and say congrats!

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    1. Thanks, asummermoon, for the congrats and the compliment. Have fun on your blogcation.

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  6. Boy oh Boy <3 I can imagine the grins on your faces.

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    1. thanks, jnguyen. We're counting down the months till the baby arrives. Meanwhile, we're watching all our favorite shows and going clubbing, since this critter might put a kibosh on those things.

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    2. Oh congratulations!!! Kids are trying at times, but they really are worth it. I think Jameelah will be surprised at how much better she understands you, Huy, from watching your son grow up. I didn't really understand the male mind nearly as well until I had my little guy.

      And just wait until you have a daughter! She will have you wrapped around her little finger.

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    3. Meanwhile, we're watching all our favorite shows and going clubbing, since this critter might put a kibosh on those things.

      Still trying to drop it low?

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  7. Do you have any names picked out yet? :)

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    1. Yeah, Huy...what are we working with?

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    2. Ooh, don't bring up names yet. We've been able to keep ourselves from getting into fist fights over names. I do not think I want to get into a fist fight with Jameelah. She has the combined strength of an adult and a baby.

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    3. Okay, Narrators...I'm goin' in.

      Huy...baby...what names did you two initially suggest to each other?

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    4. Ankhesen, the issue of baby names is a topic for a coming blog post. But here are some options that were considered: Luc, William, d'Andre, Carlos, Luca, Koniquon, Huy Jr., Guillermo, Dalat. Naming a multicultural baby is difficult!

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  8. we are happily walking around a Ross store

    LOL...realized you really did mention Ross.

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