3.30.2013

So...what's your North Korean movie synopsis?

In other words, Narrators, let's write our answer to movies like Die Another Day, Red Dawn, and Olympus Has Fallen.  Come on; it'll be fun.

See, on the one hand, we keep hearing the God-awful stuff is happening in North Korea, but then on the other hand, it's speculation, and the media admits that it's mostly rumor and hearsay.  In other words, we don't really know too much about what's going on, other than the fact our government and its partner-in-crime the mainstream media keep telling us to hate these people and rejoice in their deaths.

Whatever.  I'm not saying I support North Korea one way or the other, because I don't feel nearly informed enough, but I will say the above mentioned movies are a fail either way.

So...if I were to script a North Korean movie to answer these cliched, train-wreck movies coming out of Hollywood, I would have a group angry domestic terrorists/disgrunted soldiers/whatever, they're egotistical assholes from America infiltrate a weapons facility in North Korea in hopes of stealing missiles (or something to that effect).  Thus, it's up to a team of ripped, shirtless-and-sweaty-for-no-damn-reason North Korean soldiers to fight them off.

And since Mr. Rick Yune is, like, a veteran at playing North Korean bad-asses, he'll be cast as the leading man.

*sniff*  What about y'all?

21 comments:

  1. "Thus, it's up to a team of ripped, shirtless-and-sweaty-for-no-reason Korean soldiers to fight them off."

    This plot sounds very solid to me.

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    1. *nods* No clue what to call it yet, but I know RZA would do the soundtrack.

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    2. Also you need a director...I mean a damn good director.



      If Someone say's Quentin Tarantino that person is getting shot...twice

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    3. Ironically, RZA was also in GI Joe 2.

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    4. By the way...

      If Someone say's Quentin Tarantino that person is getting shot...twice

      *dies...twice*

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    5. LOL....so not M Night Shamalan. Quentin is probably the only white director at this point who would do it to be honest. All the others will need at least 1+ white hero/star.

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  2. I can see this happening. Hey it worked for Rosewood.

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  3. Not a bad idea if it was your movie.

    It's funny how the US want to call out terrorists and/or insinuate them being from other countries, but never acknowledge the ones that live in the states.

    Its ironic. I just went to see GI Joe. In one of the segments of the movie the real president was kidnapped while his evil clone was pretending to be him. In it ,the fool was trying to destroy the world. It seemed weird,his clone was out going crazy with the nukes, while his allies and adversaries was astonished at who they thought was the Prez.

    Actually, this isn't a lie, its just that they aren't called American terrorist. We just try to sugarcoat it.Terrorists are Terrorists no matter where they are from and we have a lot of them here. Its just that our country will only acknowledge non White, non Christian ones.

    I'm not trying to get off the subject, but I was eyeballing the man who played Storm Shadow (Byung Hun Lee).. Oh my..my..my! A real treat to see.

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    1. I just watched last night and I almost had a heart attack he's too good looking.

      I felt that the little jokes making fun of N. Korea were unnecessary. The treath was against the whole world, and I don't remember any jokes against any other nation...

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    2. In an interview he actually said he was uncomfortable with the references to N.K.

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    3. KarMell,

      Byung looked so good that I thought I was going to faint while I was watching it. I could barely contain myself looking at your Royal Hotness! I loved him in his uniform..OMFG! I also will agree that they really need to stop with the N. Korean references.It's ridiculous. The West are supposed to maintain peace for the world,yet were too busy making fun of other countries..It's just plain stupid.

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  4. So what about you guys? What would your movie be?

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    1. Oh, Ms. Mie, I do have few ideas

      1. Deep Shadows, Genre: Ninja Noir, that takes place in post-WW2 Japan during the American Occupation of Japan. The shinobi (prefere using that term) is a private detective played by Shin Koyamada (Last Samurai) (no he's not wearing a black garb)solving a face involving an black American GI and the corruption surrounding the Occupation. (Think Ninja Assassin mixed with LA Confidential)

      2. Another the noir. Emilia 30: Inspector Misato Ryuzaki played by Chiaki Kuriyama (Gogo yubari from Kill bill) wakes up after a three month coma. Shortly after she returned to duty in Criminal Affairs Department in a small town, she encounters a mysterious teenage girl played by Amandla Stenberg (Rue from Hunger games) named Emilia with no memories of who she is. Now with agencies both foreign (CIA) and domestic (Metropolitan Police Agency: Foreign Affairs Unit) lurking about. Ryuzaki must protect Emilia at all cost even if it means going against the people she work for.

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  5. How about North Vietnam kicking America out of their country? :X

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    1. As a movie premise?

      But this post is about N. Korea!!!!

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  6. I'm actually really disturbed about the way the U.S. media talks about Kim Jong Il and Kim Jong Un in such outrageously demeaning, dehumanizing ways. I mean, regardless of their politics calling either of them little, fat, "man-boys" (courtesy of Piers Morgan)...making reference to their appearance or superimposed personalities is irrelevant to real issues. It's shallow. If other countries insulted U.S. leaders in this way it would be unacceptable.

    I mean look what happened when Chavez called Bush the devil how that went. Yet Bush goes around calling entire nations "the axis of evil".

    I don't have much to add but as an FYI to anyone who didn't know: North and South Korea are technically "still at war" which is why they still have conscription. South Korea is probably saying things just as bad as the U.S. is but as an outsider I couldn't say much beyond speculation. Their beef historically is cultural and political---based on anti-imperialism (anti-U.S.) and ideology (capitalism). I'm a little rusty on my Asian history so you can double check that but I think I'm right about the last bit. :)

    Also I dunno...I don't think North Koreans look as good as South Koreans. Malnutrition maybe? I just don't think the sweaty topless thing will turn out as good as you're hoping guys....

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    1. "Also I dunno...I don't think North Koreans look as good as South Koreans. Malnutrition maybe? I just don't think the sweaty topless thing will turn out as good as you're hoping guys...."

      A movie based in reality...yea, it wouldn't turn out so good. But if a washed-up drunk of an American Civil War soldier can get dumped in Japan, take a crash course in sword fighting whereas his Japanese peers were trained from practically toddlerhood, and manage to top them all? We can have some fit-as-hell NK soldiers in a pure-action-barely-realistic flick. =D

      All jokes aside, we're more than a liiiiittle tired of the All (White) American Hero v.s. Dem Others media trope.

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    2. I'd rather remove the All (White) American from the narrative too.

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  7. LOL Tom Cruise is played out. I agree, diversity is NEEDED. It's like the way white people always insert themselves into every discussion online when it doesn't even concern them.....it's the same with movies.

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