7.26.2014

History Lessons: The Legacy of Lapu-Lapu

(h/t Jules)

Previously

Amaya

Aljur Abrenica as Lapu-Lapu

While working on Daos, I came across a picture of Aljur Abrenica portraying Lapu-Lapu, as identified by Jules.  She then hooked me up with this kick-ass video.


The first thirty seconds consistently give me life.  I cannot tell you how many times I've rewound that shit.
Here in the West, the Filipino martial arts aren’t considered as “sexy” as some of the Chinese and Japanese fighting styles, and many people don’t realize that the Philippines has a rich history of bashing motherfuckers in the goddamned face with a matching set of hand-carved wooden bludgeons. Even the almighty Bruce Lee himself trained under some of Eskrima’s Grand Masters, and incorporated aspects of their fighting style into Jeet Kune Do. You know that scene in Enter the Dragon when Bruce is in that cave and he’s using those two sticks to beat the holy living fuckballs out like eight hundred dudes? That’s fucking Eskrima, bitches - a time-honored tradition of bashing in skulls and dishing out ass-kickings that traces its roots all the way back to the 16th century and a native Visayan chieftain named Lapu-Lapu, a tribal leader who became the first Filipino to defend his homeland against foreign invasion.

There isn’t a written record of what Lapu-Lapu was up to prior to the year 1521, but by all accounts his life revolved around two things – kicking asses and taking names.


...It was in the Year of Our Lord Fifteen Hundred and Twenty-One that Lapu-Lapu and his warriors would face their greatest test. On 14 April a European explorer named Ferdinand Magellan landed his fleet on the shores of Cebu Island with the intention of wreaking havoc like the Tazmanian Devil at a Sotheby’s auction.

...Being a devout Muslim, Lapu-Lapu wasn’t in the mood to hear about any Jeebuses, and he certainly wasn’t going to sit back and let a bunch of smallpox-carrying non-M41 Pulse Rifle-toting Colonial Marines stamp his balls into dust and carry off the women of his sizable harem, so he mobilized a large force of the most bad-assed warriors he could find and prepared to give the Conquistadors a wooden-plank ass-kicking that would make them wish they were back in Catholic school getting their knuckles bloodied by angry nuns. His men got their best bamboo spears, fighting sticks, stones, arrows, and swords and prepared to turn back the invaders.
(Source)
Needless to say, Ferdinand Magellan was one of those imperialist asshole explorers right up there with Christopher Columbus and Vasco Da Gama (y'all remember him), always sailing to places where they weren't invited and "discovering" lands that were already inhabited.

Bauce.
Big man right here?  Took Magellan out.

9 comments:

  1. LOL! I've forgotten how much I love Bad Ass of the Week. That history lesson was informative and hilarious! XD

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    Replies
    1. You know about that website?????

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    2. Ha ha! Yea, I encountered an article there while researching for Latin American Art History class many moons ago, and damn near keeled over laughing.

      I forgot about it due to, well, school stress later. Glad to be reacquainted.

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  2. I got every inch of my life from...

    this: ...the Philippines has a rich history of bashing motherfuckers in the goddamned face...

    and this: Bruce is in that cave and he’s using those two sticks to beat the holy living fuckballs out like eight hundred dudes? That’s fucking Eskrima, bitches...

    and this: ...so he mobilized a large force of the most bad-assed warriors he could find and prepared to give the Conquistadors a wooden-plank ass-kicking...

    and finally, this: Big man right here? Took Magellan out.

    I can now literally die laughing. Bad Ass of the Week? Count me in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOLOLOLOL - it's like he took a few paragraphs from an actual history text and then casually "revised" it. Maybe not the most conventional way to share history, but it sure is memorable.

      In addition to watching Dominador - I mean, Abrenica - slice up Conquistadors, this gave me life:

      a time-honored tradition of bashing in skulls and dishing out ass-kickings that traces its roots all the way back to the 16th century

      and this

      Being a devout Muslim, Lapu-Lapu wasn’t in the mood to hear about any Jeebuses

      Delete
  3. The Secret NinjaJuly 28, 2014 at 2:56 PM

    this has been the highlight of my morning! i am definitely going to check this out, i've always been interested in Martial Arts and the chosen form of each nation. Bad Ass of the Week huh? i NEED this in my life!!

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  4. I just viewed Enter The Dragon just to watch that particular scene where Bruce beat the holy living fuckballs out like eight hundred dudes. ROTFLMAO!!!!

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    Replies
    1. LOL - you would! Lord knows I almost did; in fact, I believe ETD is currently streaming on Netflix.

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    2. It's even more enjoyable with the historical context in place. *bows head* Respect. Plus, I need no reason to watch my man Bruce beat the living dogshit out of mofos.

      Delete

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