Nzinga Mbande was a 17th-century African battle queen and all-around shit-kicking destroyer of human rectums....*blink* Couldn't have told this story better myself.
...[She] was the daughter of the King of the Ndongo, a misguided idiot who thought the best way to get a leg up on the Kongo was to trust a bunch of fucking Europeans who had come knocking on his door promising to give him all the money and hand jobs he wanted if he would just let them cripple his economy, end his dynastic line, obliterate all traces of his native religion and enslave his entire population out from under him.
In the case of Angola it was the Portuguese who came blowing through on the European Civilization V 4X Colonization Exploitation World Tour 1621.
...When [Nzinga] approached the governor to negotiate [for her brother's release], he refused to give her a chair to sit on. Nzinga snapped her fingers, and one of her servants got down on all fours so the Queen could sit on her back.
Once the negotiations were over, Nzinga stood up, ordered the servant to stand, and then cut the servant's neck in full view of the horrified Portuguese administrators. As everyone stood there in stunned silence for a second thinking to themselves, "seriously, what the fuck just happened here," Nzinga calmly informed the Governor that the Goddamned Queen of Ndongo never sits on the same chair twice.
She got her brother back. She then had him murdered in his sleep so she could take the throne for herself.
...Carrying a bow, sword, and axe, and dressed in animal skins, Nzinga Mbande led her men into combat against the Portuguese, defeating them in pitched battles in 1645, 1647, and 1648, at one point even helping a Dutch Marines force re-take her old palace from the Portuguese Governor who had given her so much trouble previously.
...For the last seven years of her life, Nzinga Mbande's people lived in peace, unconquered by European colonialism.
Nzinga Mbande died in 1663, allegedly with a bow and arrow in her hands. She is still seen as a symbol of African resistance in Angola and the Western African countries. (Source)
|Queen Anna Nzinga|
(c. 1583 – December 17, 1663)