#ICant with ABCFamily's "Stitchers"

I was going to kick off Summer Asian Men with this show...but it ain't happening.

It took me three separate sittings just to get through the pilot - which I only started because Salli Richardson-Whitfield is in it - and which I have zero desire to continue, despite reading a Facebook post by actor Edward Hong that Ross Le will be a recurring character for most of the first season.

Yes...in addition to Ms. Richardson, this is what I have to give up.  And he's not the only one.  Have you met actor Ritesh Rajan?

For those of you wondering why the hell I'm passing on a show with these two and beloved sci-fi alumna Salli Richardson, allow me to redirect you back to the title and reiterate: Stitchers is an ABC Family procedural filled with adult characters trying to solve murders and other crimes with wacky sci-fi methods and a cast of of subordinate POC.

After we all watched Twisted go down in flames, you already know the tropes.  You know them before I even begin to list them:

 - Skinny, young, blonde Speshul White Female Lead who's damaged and defiant and doesn't want to do the job we already know she's going to be doing for however long this show's on the air?  Check.

- Skinny Speshul White Male Co-Lead who barks orders and is in charge of the lab where their super-secret organization runs its experiments?  Check.

 - Endgame Whitebread Love between the above two?  Check, check.  They even get a random kiss in the pilot.

- Sexy Black actress relegated to Motherly Mentor (Read: Mammy) Role?  Oh, check.  Richardson is supposedly in charge but her role on this show vastly pales to her role on EurekaEureka was a career.  Stitchers is like that job she does either as a favor to a friend, or to simply knock out some bills.  Shit...that ONE time she showed up on Deep Space Nine two decades ago was better than this.

- Practically nameless additional matronly Black woman hand-holding the Speshul White Female Lead?  Check.

- Good-looking yet emasculated Asian nerds in the background?  Check, check.  Rajan is part of the main cast, I think, but Ross Le is recurring and they didn't really get to shine in the pilot.  We already know neither of them will end up with the Speshul White Female, and we probably won't see their personal lives/loves/sexualities explored.  So why even bother?

- Did I mention this was on ABC Family????
ABC Family’s latest drama centers on a young woman named Kirsten (Emma Ishta), who gets recruited into a secret government agency that can “stitch” her consciousness into the memories of the recently deceased—which in turn allows her to solve crimes. With a premise like that, Stitchers could have plenty of potential as a (much-needed) follow-up to tons of sci-fi TV—think season 1 of Fringe, another version of Dollhouse, or even a tonally different Pushing Daisies. Unfortunately, the pilot’s not remarkable or memorable enough to elevate itself to be anything more than a run-of-the-mill, trope-filled procedural with a supernatural twist.

- Shirley Li, Entertainment Weekly

In the job, the boss is Maggie Baptiste (Salli Richardson-Whitfiel, Eureka), who is a very familiar type, being no-nonsense towards her team as she runs interference with the higher ups, straddling both worlds. Second in command seems to be Cameron Goodkin (Kyle Harris, The Carrie Diaries), who takes Kirsten under his wing. The head geek of those circling, mostly in the background, is Linus* (Ritesh Rajan, The Last Airbender), who is a bit creepy in a lecherous sort of manner at the onset.

- Jerome Wetzel, Seat42F
See what I mean?

*Seriously, they fucking named him "Linus".

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